Emotional Maturity

When I hear this term, the first word that comes to mind is wisdom. Merriam-Webster's list of synonyms for "wisdom" include discernment and insight (www.m-w.com). So how does one become emotional mature? How do you gain wisdom, or insight, or discernment? We all know that these traits exist stronger in some
than in others. But now I'm back at the question asked in my first blog post: what determines emotional maturity?

I learned a few years ago that many have been searching for a way to answer that question. However, the term I found was "emotional intelligence (EI)."
[I'll go ahead and note that from this point forward I use the following reference: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_intelligence]

Wayne Payne is credited with being the first person to use EI in his doctoral thesis. Growing interest of this concept prompted the formation of many
definitions that are now broken down into 3 main models:

Mixed models of EI, (focuses on self-awareness, social awareness, self-management, and relationship management)
Ability EI, (involves the ability to perceive, integrate, understand and regulate emotions)
Traits EI (based on a person's own perception of his or her abilities)

You can see the link above for a detailed overview of each.

As far as the criticisms of the "scientific" study of EI, I agree with most listed on the wikipedia link. The problem I see with each is validity. The assessment tools for the Mixed and Traits models are self-reports. The Ability model uses the Mayer-Salovey-Caruso Emotional Intelligence Test (MSCEIT) which contains a series of emotion-based problem-solving questions. The other issue I have with proposing this as a scientific, measurable concept is that it is too broad and varied to narrow down into categories. I do not think it can be generalilzed to all populations, because there are cultural considerations that come into play. The constructs used within the definitions are viewed differently in different cultures.

I found a lot of information in my research. Check out this website: http://www.eiconsortium.org/ On this site, I see that someone has written a book that discusses emotions and culture. I'll have to read it and get back with you. I basically just wanted to give you some food for thought, since I didn't address the question in Wednesday's post.

So what determines emotional maturity? There are so many answers out there. Do a Google search and you will see. But my simple answer is that we gain wisdom when we are truly present to our life to learn its lessons day after day after day....and when required we can recall the morals from each lesson to help us in the present moment... Yes I know there are holes in my definition as well. :-)

What are your thoughts?
Trinka